Once you’re out of school, out of university, it becomes quite difficult to meet new friends with whom one has an affinity. I also find that as I get older, I also…
- … become increasingly fussy about how and with whom I spend my increasingly limited time, especially whenever I’m working, because I give my work a decent amount of my energy and time;
- … become less people-pleasing (and have less patience for bitchiness, double-standards, people who can dish criticism but can’t take it, and boring people), and therefore less likely to form false friends, cutting out a portion of people I would previously have had more time for (no loss); and
- … I need a lot of alone-time and I love love love reading.
Another experience shared by many non-schooling adults is that there are fewer necessary non-work functions (such as lectures, tutorials, extra-curricular activities, commitments to non-scholastic campus activities, student concerts and performances, etc.) that create “spaces” in which you must be around other people in your age group and with lots in common. There are fewer “spaces”, full-stop, for random but likeminded adults to find each other in real-life. And there are more commitments that compete for our time.
We also spend a lot more time online and perform many more functions online, sacrificing random face-to-face time and the serendipity that comes with that.
When I think about all of this, I am grateful whenever I meet new, genuine friends with whom I can easily connect as an adult, and sometimes even connect quite deeply with. Some of them have become my best friends.
I think these moments of fate and (for the skeptical/cynical) coincidence also remind me that we never, never know when things can happen that can change our lives for the better in an instant.
This post was inspired by a timeless and amusing piece by a dear and treasured friend of mine (yes, whom I met when we were both in the workplace), here: What do you do with, “what do you do?”.